Nove histórias de gestores

que não dão uma para a caixa (em inglês):

1. This is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship: The project director was really upset that team members wanted to give input on the project schedule. He knew best. The damn project was going to be delivered in 6 months no matter what. The project was finally delivered 4 years behind schedule. That project director currently serves as the vice president at a large consulting company.

2. I am on my way to Hawaii. But I need you to work this coming weekend so we can meet our deadline: Poetic justice: manager was resigned (fired) for personal reasons 4 months after making the statement.

3. The original estimate for this project was 11 weeks but we reworked the plan to cut the estimate down to 7 weeks without adding any additional resources: I had to work 18 hours per day for 3 months including weekends to deliver the 7 week project. Monster.com became my new best friend.

4. I promised the client that we will test and fix 300 screens before the end of day today: Testing 300 screens takes a team of 3 engineers close to three weeks to complete. The manager resigned 3 days later.

5. Why do you need a detailed project plan? The whole project is less than a couple of months: Client fired the consulting company.

6. Listen the client does not need to know everything. Half of them are idiots anyways: Client fired the consulting company, received a 2 million dollar refund for the project after threatening with a law suit.

7. Did you think you will have any time for your family? People in telecom have the highest divorce rates compared to other industries: Half to the team members left the company upon completing the project.

8. $2,500 for a laptop is a steal. We will buy a thousand; store them until the project is ready: The state bought the laptops in 1998 for $2.5 million. Project was completed in 2003. Laptops sat in storage for 5 years. When the staff finally opened the laptops, the hinges fell apart. Thank you Compaq for building great laptops, and thank you mister client for wasting the state’s money. The manager was promoted to director of IT in the state.

9. There are some nice project managers and there are some assholes out there. I am an asshole: I started looking for a new job that night. I quit in 3 months later!

Não sei porquê, mas parece-me familiar....
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