Sarcasmo Zen

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

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